Sunny Sunday

It’s Saturday

The week is almost over and here I am writing another entry, I must say updating this blog once a week is a good thing and I like it.

How is everyone? I am hoping you are well and have had a good week. 

My week was up and down but Christmas went a little better than I expected. 

Next week starts a new year! 2019 has been up and down for me, it also brought very bad things to me and I put myself in harm's way. 

I guess I never learn from mistakes or I think I do but then I just repeat them and it never ends well for me. I am trying to be better but there are days where it gets bad. 

No, we won’t talk about the bad days, just trying to remain positive is a task that I am working on.

Not much is new with me, made it through the 2nd week of the new job which I love! Its tough being up 19 hours a day working but its extra money and I get out of the house which sometimes does not happen often.

I was making plans for today but made other plans since a few people didn’t get back to me in enough time. I have to plan around my work schedule and it’s ok if you don’t understand. I just have to make other arrangements.

There is so much more I want to say but it’s not anything positive or happy. I’m not super happy but trying and a lot of things are not working out which sucks. It’s not easy being super positive every day.

Not sure when I will return to streaming either, won’t get into that too much now because it's all negative which needs to be a private entry or written on paper.

I need to get ready, going to do some stuff today and make time for some knitting and maybe watch a movie.

I finished watching The Witcher on Netflix, maybe I will get the book series? 

One other thing that is good is…..   I am making a goals list for 2020! Have some stuff written down and still thinking of goals to reach.

So January - May will be short term goals

June and July are mid-way goals

August to December is long term goals. 

You are welcome to put suggestions in the comments if you want, I am looking for new ideas and things to do for goals.

Now I am feeling better since getting all of that out. Going to get ready and go do what I need to and then come home for knitting and a movie or Netflix.

It’s Sunday now and this may be a long post, lol.

Today is going better than yesterday and that I am happy. I can say I did not want to get out of bed this morning but I did and got ready for church.

Yes, I go to church and will not push or force religion on anyone, if you go to church that is great. If you don’t go that is ok too.

Everyone does what works for them and to be honest, I rarely went to church until 2 years ago. No joke, I started going after y grandmother passed away and have gone since. I like the church I attend and I get to see people at church that I now call friends.

Today I am going to try and focus on being happy, doing something for myself (movie or watch a tv show) and do laundry and try to get some knitting done.

So I will be ending this long post, going to try and make this week a good week and I just got my gratitude journal in the mail and got my rage page journal too.

Have a great day wherever you and I will post next Sunday in 2020 :)

Another Week Gone

Hello everyone! I hope you are doing well today and remember to take time for yourself if you need it.

It's almost Christmas here in the States and the holiday is a bit tough for me. I lost my grandmother over 2 years ago and I was Mimi's girl. I miss her a lot and this holiday is tough for me.

The week has gone by fast but I did make it through my first week at the new job. It has been an adjustment too, I am used to a big cafeteria and many employees, now I am in a smaller cafeteria and work with 6 other people.

The new job is going great and I get the weekend off which is even better! I'm liking the new job and I think it was a good decision to start a new job.

Lately, I have been dealing with mental health issues which I will not hide. I am in therapy to help as well as finding 3 positives throughout the day. I am working on being more positive but there are times where I still get down on myself.

It's not easy but working towards a better self is a start in the right direction. It could be the winter blues as well since the sun is not always out plus I don't get out often so that could be a factor too. I'm also trying to recognize triggers and make sure I can step away from things if needed.

The other day I made a decision to not stream anymore. I think it's the best idea for now and no I won't give up entirely on streaming, just need to step back for a lot longer than maybe rebuild after that.

I think I will highlight some positives from the week;

1. I started a new job and made it through the first week.
2. Did some knitting
3. I registered my car and made some bill payments.

Those 3 things are good positives for me. I just need to work on a few other bills and I will be caught up which is good.

I hope anyone who celebrates Christmas has a great holiday and I will update in a week which means an update before New Year's Eve!

Hoping 2020 will be better for me.

Sunday Blues Hopefully Turn Into Happy Sunday

Hello!!!!

It's Sunday again and that means another update and another week has gone by us. Also, Christmas is next week.

I hope all is well with everyone who reads this blog, some past posts may have drama in them but I am trying to be. more positive and talk more about my week and other things.

Starting tomorrow, I start my new job which I am excited about! I am leaving one job for this job and hopefully, it will be a good change of scenery. It's very early when I start and I get out early but is a Monday through Friday job.

I didn't keep track of what happened during the week like I wanted too. A few things were brought to my attention and it was good that they were brought to my attention. I have been going through a very negative phase? Not sure if phase would be the right word to use but I have not been in a good mindset for a while.

I have started therapy, I need to take care of myself and figure out what are my triggers and figure out what I want in life. I also want to make goals whether they are short term goals or long term goals but it will be something to work towards.

Other than being negative, my week has been good. The college cafeteria is now on winter break and I had Friday off from work! Friday was a great day with a very positive morning too. I did a test stream because my Apple computer updated so I wanted to make sure that OBS worked.

So my test stream turned into chatting then got raided with a party of 81 then stream turned into knitting and chatting then we took our fun over to another streamer with a party of 59! It was a great morning and I followed a new streamer who also crafts.

Knitting helps me relax and I love to knit but there are days where I have no energy to knit. I plan to branch out and do some more crafts when I stream and figure out what I want from streaming.

Streaming takes a lot of mental energy and I want to be happy with what I am doing and want viewers to be happy with what I am doing too.

I think that is all I have for right, I am watching a streamer who also knits but does spinning (yarn) and relaxing for today. I believe I have my first cold and I am staying home to rest today and drink plenty of fluids so I can be 100% tomorrow for my first day!

I will update again on Sunday but you may find a random post during the week if I am feeling up to it.

Thank you for reading, have a beautiful day wherever you are <3

Happy Sunday!

Well, here I am again and it's Sunday. I think I need to update this blog once a week and that way if anyone wants to follow they can.

I hope all of you are well and in good spirits!

I'm doing great and yesterday was my birthday which I did spend alone celebrating but went out last night to do snack crate with fellow streamers. It was fun and I had a great time. Many laughs and trying snacks from Australia! Some not so great but the point of snack crate is to try new things.

Snack crate is a monthly subscription box and you get a different country every month. It's fun getting the email with he tracking link in it.

I don't normally stream my snack crate but maybe I will next month. Will give it some thought but for now its about relaxing.

I stream on twitch with knitting and I have been taking a mental health break which was much needed. There are things that trigger me in different ways and sometimes its not good for me or other people so a plan will be put into place.

Not sure what exactly but I need to make a plan so I can either step back, take time off from twitch or find another way to cope.

Its not easy and sometimes social media can affect me mentally too, I log out of Facebook an d barley log on. I do much better when logged out of Facebook but then there is twitter, discord and twitch. It can be tough at times but other times it's great being on social media.

I am in great spirits today, feel great, got outside and the sun is shining! I will always work on my mental health and just need to make a plan, write out positives like when I got affiliate status on twitch, have many followers, made scarfs for people and that I am good enough.

There will be days I feel that I am not good enough but hopefully that can change and bring more positive things to the world. It may take awhile, need to work on this everyday.

The plan for now is to update this blog every Sunday and recap the week. Will make an alarm in my phone to remind myself to make a post and I can always write a draft and save it then post it.

Hope you all enjoyed my ramblings and now I am going to knit, real and watch some Netflix and some Twitch.

Have great day!

Happy Turkey Day US!

It may be only a few days since my last post but thought I should be better about updating. Life right now is throwing me curve balls and I’m having a hard time coping with them.

It’s also Thanksgiving Day isn’t he United States. I’m with some family but it feels like my family is so divided that it really makes me sad and it’s hard for me.

I have been knitting this morning, trying a different pattern but it’s not going well so need to message the person about the pattern tomorrow.

For now I think I will try a hat and knot that today, may not get it done but it will be a start. Ima irking again tonight which is good and plan to watch movies today. 

Our turkey is not ready yet so I get to relax for a bit. The wind is blowing where I live so staying inside is what I will be doing unless I have to be outside.

Also I haven’t been doing well mentally these last few days. I don’t know why wither. Hopefully I can get out of my funk and feel better. 

So back to knitting and movies for a bit.

Thanks for reading.

Time for a Update!

Hello!!! 

How is everyone?

I hope you all are well and it has been too long since I last updated. Let’s see what has happened since my last update.

I’m not liking one job but I have given it a chance and it may be better for me to move on so that may happen next month.

My knitting is going well, I went to my first yarn festival and yes I wanted to buy a lot of yarn! I stick to a budget and enjoyed my time plus got hands on experience on hand spinning.

I’m a twitch affiliate now! Filling out a few forms was frustrating but it was Necessary and I still stream.

However, my mental health and I think working plus putting pressure on myself have taken a toll on me. I am taking a mental health break from streaming for about 2 weeks and I just want to step back.

I need to figure out what I want for my channel, not compare myself to others (mainly one person) and work on me. The knitting does help relax me and I got to make a scarf for charity too! It took forever to make but it’s all done.

So that is 3 Irish Hiking scarfs and a baby blanket so far since I picked up knitting over the summer. I’m now making another scarf for a streamer and will be a test knitter and will start that this week.

So things are good, today has been ok so far. Trying to be more positive and now I’m going back to knitting.

Have a great evening! 

Last Week, Found Yarn

It's my last week before my seasonal job starts but I'm enjoying my time. Not much is new, just taking time for my mental health and have been knitting.

Went to a family birthday on Saturday which was fun, that is the most talking I have done at a family function and where the party was, it was peaceful and quiet and beautiful. I hope to go back on a Saturday to just sit and relax.

In other news I found some beautiful orange yarn at Walmart. It's cheaper there than it is at JoAnn's but I still need to go to JoAnn's to get supplies but the yarn will be my first stop. I plan to make a hat and scarf and just want one more skein of yarn to be safe.

The hat and scarf should take 225 yards of yarn which is in on skein but just want to be safe for now.
The colors make me think of fall and halloween.

I don't have much else to say, just relaxing and knitting and really doing nothing else. Did laundry yesterday and need to get it folded, family is good and I'm doing great! Taking time for me and my mental health has been very good for me.

So I hope to update later this week but will see, have a great Wednesday!

Rough Week, Doing Better

Even though I recently posted an entry, it feels like it has been longer since the last post. 

From Monday to today, it has been rough. I have made it through and I went for a walk too which a friend suggested.

My mind didn’t turn off but I saw a few things in a different light which is good.

Also I used the Zombie Run app which I walk and not run, I used the Under Armour app and my Apple Watch to log my walk today.

Yes I use a lot of apps but it’s fun and one app connects to MyFitnesPal app, I use Apple products a lot so that’s why I track with Apple and the Zombie Run app is for fun.

Hoping to get out tomorrow morning for a quick walk, maybe when I wake up since I don’t have to be at work til 9am.

So after thinking and walking, I feel much better. I just need to work on my mental health, be more positive and I think going out for walks will help.

So for now, I will concentrate on me and family. I need to get better before I can do much else plus knit a sock.

Have a great night everyone!

Break and Lunch

Today is Tuesday! I’m sure you know that but I wanted to say it. 

It’s lunch time and taking a break, since last Friday I decided to not stream anymore and talked to a few guys about it.

They are being very supportive and one gave me great advice. He said just step back and do what makes me happy. He is right, I’m worrying too much of what one person thinks I need for my channel and if I want something I should be able to have it regardless if I am affiliated or not!

So I’m stepping back for a bit and taking time for me which I haven’t done and yesterday I felt great!

Not sure when I will stream again but I’m taking a break. One of my mods doesn’t care at all about me growing my channel (it’s my theory) and makes her channel and other people’s channels look better.

I’m usually chopped liver but not anymore, I will do it myself if I have too! I don’t care and I am going to make my channel awesome!

Not Feeling TGIF

It’s Friday and as much as I want to say TGIF, it’s not for me. 

I was doing good until family stopped by and I can never do anything right when it comes to family and it brings me down a lot. I just want to cry and sometimes think my family would be better off without me around.

It’s hard for me when family doesn’t tell me anything or doesn’t talk to me then when o do something it’s never right.

I always feel very little a lot and my self esteem is low and I feel like I never deserve anything good in life. Guess it’s what I have to get used too.

Other than me feeling like a loser, I registered my car which was cheaper than I expected but have a rough estimate for the next time I register.

Now to save up for the floor mats, trunk liner and snow tires plus inspection later down the road.

I may not be able to go to Boston next Saturday either as much as I want too I think it would be best if I stay home. I can always knit and watch movies that day.

So going to do some knitting and may stream later but will see.

Knitting Today

Wow! It’s August and July flew by fast but when you knit like me, the days blur together.

Things are good, making progress on projects today and started some already. The heel part of the sock is done and now to try and get further along with that, work on scarves and try more of the butterfly stitch.

Of course I will take breaks in between to stretch, eat, run errands and do laundry. I’m hoping to get further along with all projects that I have started and update here as well as twitter and my discord.

I also don’t write in here a lot so trying to do more. The socks are a arrow head pattern and doing a few cable stitch scarves. 

Not much else is new, just relaxing today and trying to not fall asleep even though I got plenty of sleep last night.

So I need to check laundry and take a short break but I hope all of you have a great Thursday!

Here is the sock I am working on:

You can’t see the arrow head design but I am doing good for my first time on socks.

Knitting!

Hello everyone! It’s been over a month since I posted on here. 

Things are good right now, I got back into knitting this summer and finished two projects!! One is a Irish Hiking Scarf 

And I made a baby blanket too

 2 projects done and now working on a sock, it’s not easy but I enjoy knitting. 

I have plenty of yarn, have projects lined up and going to knit. It helps me relax and I’m happy when I get to knot.

Also I got a new car! It was time to retire my first car but I must say I am happy with what I got and it’s great. I even got the car starter put in too just need all weather mats next but those are not cheap.

Anyways going to bed soon, early morning for me.

Long Time Since my Last Post

Well it has been almost a month since I last posted here! Hopefully I can be better about posting in the future.

I have had a lot of anxiety in the last month and half which has kept me offline a lot. I love social media but it can be a curse at the same time so it has been rough to go online.

I am doing better and life has been ok.

Not much is new besides that I volunteer at the local Y and I love it!!!! I get out of the house and get to help people and I can do a few hours or like 5 hours if I want to. It has been great and enjoyable to volunteer and I have met new people too.

Also I get to see a friend out there which is nice and its like we are working together even though I am volunteering. It's all good and I'm happy plus the people that work there love having me along with other volunteers too.

Life at home has been ok, have had my rough days but hope it will get better. My food service job is on summer break but they called me and I am going to work short shift Monday and Thursday so it will be nice to see coworkers on those days.

I don't have much else to write about, things are getting better and the sun is out today. I also got a small rice cooker so I can make rice balls and hopefully trying that out tonight.

Have a great Sunday and enjoy the weather if you can, get outside and have fun!

Hopefully, I'm Back!

If you read my last post, I was a ball of emotions and got the medicine to help me get better. Always ask for help when you need it because I had to get help, all the crying I did was not normal and I didn't want to be sad either.

I started out on a few meds, one of them made me sleep for 4-5 hours which I didn't like. I had a small dose medicine for my anxiety and it helped for a bit.

By Monday of this week when I went back, I was doing worse!  cried in front of the doctor and we talked about changing meds and seeking counseling. I'm not opposed to counseling because it can help.

So I am doing better than yesterday and haven't cried since the last doctor's visit which is good. I am getting out more and looking into volunteering as well.

Since the college is done for the summer, they don't have any hours right now which is ok. I'm going stir crazy at home during the day because everyone I know is working the day shift. I'm used to doing work early int he morning then head over to my food service job then home and now I have only one job for the summer.

I like that I get a break but since the trip to Florida, I didn't do well after coming home and work was a big distraction for me and now I need to adjust to having time during the day. It's weird but I am slowly working on it. Maybe I need to make a schedule?

I hope to post more now that I am doing a little better but will see how things go this week.

An Update

The last week and a half have been a roller coaster of emotions. I have been up and down, crying and not knowing what to do with myself. 

I finally went to the doctor today because I need help and if the medicine helps me then I will take it.

Sadly the medicine is on back order and I hope that the pharmacy will get it tomorrow. 

Well, I am going to try and relax for now. I hope Monday treats you well.

Quick Update

Well we drove even further and I’m sick of traveling!!! I have done nothing but be in a vehicle and my family won’t listen to god on the phone to get somewhere!

I’m tired and he hotels suck! Every hotel we have stayed at is below 1 ⭐️ and it’s not getting any better.

My grandfather wouldn’t be able to do this trip by himself either and that is why I’m here.

Now to hopefully eat something and try to enjoy the day but I doubt the enjoyment part.

Driving South

Okay, since my last post I am on the road people. I packed the night before we left, got very little sleep and honestly didn’t want to go south.

I do love Florida but I think that I am used to my own pace, planning and would rather fly and relax. This trip has not provided any relaxing.

My niece is being interesting and needs a nap. I would rather be back home and relaxing.

Yesterday we got lost in New York, hit traffic for miles and we should have been halfway yesterday but that didn’t happen.

It was awful yesterday and my grandfather wouldn’t listen when I googled hotels and where to go. He is very old school.

So today we are back on the road, passed South of the Border and still driving. Maybe I will post again tonight.

Stressed Out

Well I am ready to break down and cry! I don't want to go to Florida at all and work is not helping me very much. I'm sick of one job and I don't plan to return after the spring semester.

I have bills due and I think that and trying to pack to be ready for Friday morning is stressing me out. I paid on my student loans and turbo tax came out so I'm almost broke. It's stressing me out plus I have upcoming bills due the 5th, 6th, and 13th of the month plus another bill due on the 15th of May.

I feel like a loser because all I do is work and I have nothing to show for it! I feel like I have failed and I hate that feeling. I haven't started to pack at all. I guess doing laundry is a start but want to be packed by tomorrow night so on Thursday after I get out of work, I can come home and shower and hopefully relax before leaving.


Life just sucks right now.

It Has Been Awhile

It has been a long time since I last posted on here. Things are going good in life, trying to pack for vacation which I leave Friday!

Driving down south to Florida with family and we are leaving early! So I need to be ready by Thursday night.

I still need to pack a overnight bag and a suitcase plus make a list of what I need to bring with me besides the necessities that a person would need.

I’m working in between all of this with both my jobs but I know I can get it done! I’m going to do it.

Laundry is ready to go in the wash tonight after my niece takes a shower then hopefully I can start packing.

Will update on my progress throughout the week.

Have a great Monday!

Sunday Funday and Relaxing

Happy Sunday!

This will be short for now, it is church day and I am back home relaxing and going to knit after I post this. Not much is new, my grandfather is watching tv and they are talking about Vermont Yankee which is interesting to hear it.

So today is cold in my home town and it is supposed to be warm? Anyways it's not that bad outside but kinda chilly.

Family is good, may be going on a vacation soon and then summer break is coming fast from the college.

Also I bought a season pass fro Deadliest Catch which I am excited for!!! I love that show and happy for it to be starting soon. I love the discovery channel, history channel and the National Geographic channel which I don't get to watch very often.

So that is it for now, I may post later but will see. I'm going to watch Netflix and knit.

Have a great Sunday!

Life Update

I didn't know what to put as a title because I am trying to cope with some feelings that I am having.

So for the good news, 2Cellos was awesome!!! It was a great concert, great to be in Boston/Cambridge area and wonderful o have a girls night. It was much needed.

2Cellos is 2 guys from Europe and are classically trained on cellos, they make music and make it fun plus they have gotten very popular. You should look them up, they are awesome and I would see them again in concert when they tour the US again.

As for my feelings, I have a hard time coping with stuff I see on facebook and feel like a loser. I know, you must think I am awful or I just need to get over it. Small problem, it's not easy for me to just "get over it".

I work al to which is my decision and I don't get invited out a lot which gets me down but sometimes I am fine with being home and relaxing. No one really wants me around and when I tell people this, they say "I know how it is and I have been there before", which you don't know what I'm feeling as a person.

It affects me a lot when I am logged in on social media so I log out. Its like everyone I much more popular and has a better life and I do nothing but work because no one wants me around or wants to talk to me much which brings me down a lot even though those people are missing out.

So for now, I am home relaxing, need to get to the second job soon and maybe knit some more tonight.

Thanks fro reading about my life adventures

Saturday and 2Cellos!

I don't remember the last time I posted here, how are you? I hope you are all well and having a great Tuesday.

Work has been busy which is great and this weekend I am going to see 2Cellos! Going with friends and they are excited. It's only an overnight but it's great to get out of town.

Not much else to write about but if I think of anything I will make a rough draft and then post later.

Head is Hurting

I think I put my hair up too tight today when I went to work because my head is throbbing, it's my own fault too. I think next time I will make loose but not too loose that it falls out.

Home from work and relaxing before the next job. Had dinner early and need to put a load of laundry in tonight too, I'm good on clothes but I like to wash my work shoes every week and there is laundry to do.

This weekend will be good, I have plans and I am excited for next weekend too! Going to see 2Cellos, I am having a hard time typing.

Anyways, I am going to keep this short because I have to work my other job soon and I need to put in laundry.

Have a great night everyone!

It’s Saturday

Well it’s Saturday and yes I’m aware you know this too. Good thing is the sun is out, today is about getting some things done and doing a few habits. This post is one of them.

I will be cleaning out the guinea pig cage and maybe after go for a walk, the car needs gas so wanted to get the walk in first then get gas and relax after.

It’s supposed to be warm but will see when it’s time to go for the walk. Today is also laundry day and just relax and maybe play a game. 

Not much is new, tomorrow we are getting snow but then it should melt on Monday provided the weather doesn’t change but it probably will.

May post later

Sunday Funday

Hi everyone!

It’s Sunday of course and I’m home from church. My rebrand was away today and we had a guest reverend and I enjoyed the service. Talked to a few people after and then got lunch.

Went to the Monadnock Food Co-op which I have not been in a long time but it was nice to be there. There selection on hot food is good and I got pork chop with mushroom sauce, brown rice and fingerling potato’s which was all very yummy! I also got cheddar ale soup which is always good.

So when I left to go to church today it was warm, probably 40’s or a little higher. After church it had gotten 🥶 which was weird but we are getting a storm later.

Now I’m home and need to clean out the guinea pigs cage so I can take most of the trash out before bad weather. I did order more yarn from “Darn Good Yarn”, it’s a website and they have great yarn that is beautiful and colorful.

I’m still working on my scarf/blanket? Haven’t decide what to make it but the color is beautiful. 

This the yarn I’m working with now and I did get more of this kind but different colors. So will see what I make.

Anyways I do plan to get more of this yarn but watching how I spend, trying to spend less is not easy since I bought yarn and food today.

However I do save money and paying on my credit cards which is good. Just need to stop buying unless it’s food like when I’m on spring break from the college, I will probably go buy more snacks and more soda for when I’m home.

Okay, going to end this because I need to clean the Guinean pig cage and I want to work on my habits for my habit tracking calendar. It’s going good so far and I like to knit and there are 6 other habits that I want to check off too. 

I hope you all are staying warm/cool wherever you are and have a blessed Sunday.

It's March!

The first entry and it's March 1st! I don't remember when I last posted in here but hey, I am now.

So I have been working and saving money, bought a ps4 and have a few games to play but not a lot of free time to play which is good and bad but I do what I can.

I got a habit tracker calendar sometime last year and decided that March was a good month to start using it since it was almost March.

I put down 7 habits and they are all complete for today which is good.

Not much else is new besides work, knitting and playing games. I do need to send out a few birthday cards, go shopping for a toddler and try to relax at the same time.

Things are good otherwise, the sun is out today but we are going to get snow this weekend. I will try to post more often in here.

Day Off

Today is a day off for me from work and I slept in, well more like I went back to sleep after helping family. My last post was on the 7th of this month and here it is the 22nd, it has been awhile which is ok.

Not much is new with me, I have been working a lot and haven't had time to update on here. Things are going good for now and I hope the goodness continues into next month.

I haven't really gone out a lot, did go out with some coworkers on Wednesday night and that was fun. It's rare that I go out and have a drink but I make sure the bills are paid.

Last night I didn't feel good, there is a lot of sickness going around where I live. Not sure if I caught something but I slept for a long time, was hot and cold and it hurt to talk. It was not fun but took some NyQuil before bed and slept more, feeling better today but still tired.

Since it's my day off, I did a few errands and came home to watch some tv shows on Hulu and knit. I plan to do more knitting later, just taking a break for now, going to help my gramps in a little bit with groceries and then come home and watch some more Hulu and knit.

That is my news for now, like I said not much is new. Maybe I will get to post this weekend but will see what life brings.

Been Awhile

It really hasn't been that long since my last post but it does feel like it. How is everyone? Good I hope.

Things are ok with me, not much is new and just been working and very tired this week. Work is good and paying bills off which is great but it sucks being broke.

I don't have much to say, I though once I got on here I would have more to say but I don't.

Life and Bills

Hello! It's 10:32pm my time and Nevada just called me which is weird but if you don't leave a message then I won't return your call.

Anyways onto my title, my credit card will be paid off on Monday! I have other bills like everyone and it would be nice to not pay them but if you can put some money down on them or try to pay bill early.

I try to stay ahead on bills and there are months where I can't get ahead. If you can put some money down on a bill, it may look good in the long run but you would still have to pay the bill unless. you can make other arrangements for it.

Life in general for myself is not to bad, been working and took 2 naps today which is not normal for me. The sun was out today and even though it was cold outside, it was great to have the sun shinning.

Sunday is Super Bowl and I got invited to a party. I'm happy for the invite but unsure of going. My reasons are; weather, will the house be warm where the party is at?,  and will I be a fifth wheel?. I know the 5th wheel is a dumb thing to think about but it happens and everyone else has so much more in common than they do with me so its hard for me to want to go out.

I will decide on Sunday if I am going or not. Plus I work the next day at 5am so that is another reason.

So for now I have been working, doing laundry, making sure bills are paid and relaxing. Hopefully I can get some new knitting needles tomorrow and just knit while watching a movie.

For now, it's time for bed.

Windy Night with Cold Temperatures

Good Evening everyone!

I hope you re all staying safe and warm with these cold temps that are coming through. I am home from work obviously and I figured I would post. The wind is picking up and the cold temps are coming which means we will being he negative area tonight.

It will be really cold tomorrow too and I am not looking forward to cold days but hope it will be gone by Monday.

This will be short because I am exhausted from work and my feet are throbbing so going to rest and stay warm. Will try to update tomorrow but may not.

Stay safe and warm the next few days.

Game and Snow

Hello!

I went out last night to get my pre-order of Kingdom Hearts 3! I can't play it yet but I'm excited to have the game. I bet you are thinking, "why can't she play it?"

I don't have a PS4 yet. Yes I got a game without having the game console. I am saving up for one and bills always come first! That is my rule, bills first then I may buy something for myself.

The line was long but the sales associate had it planned out, if you came in you could pay off your balance then get in line and wait til it was your turn to get the game. I got mine on PS4 and I know some people got it on Xbox.

The line went fast and I was in and out, I picked up friends and we had fun and were excited to get the game.

I have been looking at more games and as soon as my credit card is paid off, I will look into a PS4. It's not easy right now and it would be great if I was not paying off a credit card but I made the payment plan so it will be paid in full and the account closed.

So, now it's just a waiting game to get more games and a PS4, it won't take too long to save up and I will post when I do get a PS4.

Yay for Payments!

Today was my first payment on paying bill and normally I wouldn't be happy about it but I am!!!!
I am paying off a card and today was the first payment which is awesome and the card will be paid off soon and then I can work on my credit score and get it up.

It's very exciting!!!

I love when I can get ahead on bills and have some money left over too. Wifi and phone bill are paid which is good and hopefully I can ahead before the next bills are due which would be the first week of March. There is money left over which is good because I pre-ordered Kingdom Hearts 3 and it comes out next Tuesday.

After work on next Tuesday which is January 29, I will go and get. my copy then save up for a PS4, yes I don't have one because I work so much I have little time to play games unless it's on my phone. I love Kingdom Hearts and I really want it so it's pre-ordered then save up for PS4.

Some of you may think I should get the PS4 nw but I don't have the money, I like saving up as a goal and working towards the goal plus I'm working on my credit score so trying to be good.

Saving can be easy for some people and harder for other people. I am lucky I have 2 jobs (one is a fall back) so as long as I plan money out and don't need stuff, I save it and make sure my bills are paid.

Bills always come first along with the car and repair and any other bills I may have. I just remembered I have a doctor's bill I need to pay, I should pay that soon too or make payment plans and work on that as well.

Some months it is easy for me and other months it's not easy. Take this month for example, I'm broke but my bills are paid and that is good but just with paying doctor's bills, my regular bills and getting work clothes. It's made me broke so this is why I save and plan ahead most of the time, along with making payment plans.

Not much else is new today, I am home relaxing and typing. I did want to go to the gym but forgot a lock for the locker so I just did a few errands and came home to watch a movie then take a nap. I was up in time for my niece to get home which is awesome.

Have some books to read and get reviews up when I am done with reading them. Now to go watch a movie (not sure what) and do some reading and then work at 6pm.

Have a great Friday, stay safe and warm.

What a Day

Today feels longer than what it was. I'm always up early for home healthcare then I stopped at the office to drop off papers and go to the bank on the way to the food service job. I went non stop today and I'm still working tonight.

It really feels longer but I have tomorrow off from food service and that will be nice. I paid bills today which is good and I'm paying off a card too so money is al little tight but it makes me feel good that I'm paying bills on time.

So now to relax and work tonight then bed.

Work

Today was my first day back at the college cafeteria and it was a short shift which is fine, I did a lot of stocking and now I am very tired. I also cleaned my car off and shoveled snow since I didn't do that yesterday and that was a good workout.

It was -3 degrees at 9am and you could tell it was very cold out. So the car is all cleaned off and I got ready for work then went to work. Bundled up and man people amaze me. I saw a student walking outside with no jacket! It was cold out and honestly I don't care how far your place is, wear a jacket!

Now I am home relaxing, shower later and staying warm.

I'm tired so I may take a nap but also going to relax for a bit.

Snow Day

Good Morning!

We are still getting snow with some freezing rain/sleet. My church service was canceled today which is sad but glad they did because I wouldn't want anyone driving in these crappy conditions. I want everyone to be safe, please stay home unless absolutely necessary to go out.

I stayed in yesterday, got caught up on laundry which is good. I didn't do much else either because I went to the store on Friday and I'm stocked up on food til I work at the college cafeteria again.

A friend of mine went out to Market Basket and as he was leaving, he said it was getting busier which  I am not surprised. People go out before a storm and stock up just in case if they lord power or water or both.

Last night I started watching Hemlock Grove which is interesting and kinda confusing but still good. Netflix is putting out some good stuff.

So today I plan on being home, my gramp wants to go out and thankfully his truck has 4 wheel drive but he will be tired from shoveling and snow blowing. I think he should stay home but he probably won't. I wouldn't go outside in this crap either.

I'm content being home and relaxing while it still snows, I don't know when it will stop but I will ask people to be safe please and drive slowly.

Not sure if I will update later or not, will get some pics and hopefully post later. Will see how the day goes.

Dreary Day Out

Well today has been boring but kinda nice. It's very cloudy outside and my grandfather thought we were getting a lot of snow. Some places are getting 20+ inches of snow and I think my town is getting 12 inches.

I went to the grocery store a little after 1pm, now it's Friday and yes I expected some of the store to be busy. Well, it was a lot busier than I expected! I went early too but I guess people are getting stocked up for the weekend and the storm.

I didn't get much because I didn't need a lot of things and was done within 30 minutes.

Not much else is going on, I am home for the night and waiting for the storm to come. I did buy a movie and a tv show on iTunes, been watching Netflix most of today.

So it is a lazy day and pajamas all day.

Calm Before the Snow

Hi!

Today is very cold but sunny out. Its the calm before we get up to 4 inches of snow tonight at some point. We are getting snow throughout the weekend too so today is nice until it starts.

My niece is home, I worked my other job and I am home relaxing now. Made a trip to Walmart to get the guinea pigs stuff and got some things for me. It was a quick trip and went to the bank too so This morning was productive.

I am tired and I was so tired last night that I went to bed early and fell asleep! I slept really well last night too and that has not happened in a long time. I may take a nap today and hope that I can get that in soon.

Not much going on tonight for me, just laundry and working.

Meeting and Good News

Today their was meeting at work and seeing everyone made me happy, I have been cooped up enough and getting out today really helped. I also got my work schedule but not sure if they need me on Monday but just happy to have a schedule.

The meeting went well and lunch was provided which is always nice. After the meeting I got to see a friend for a bit before they had to work. My schedule is the same as last semester except I am not working on Fridays which will be nice.

In other good news, I got my one year sticker! My car was inspected but they did something where I needed to drive 50 highway miles in order to get the one year sticker for inspection, I think it has something to do with emissions?

So on Saturday I drove to Wilton and back home. It was sunny out and very cold but it was a nice day for a drive. Driving there and back put over 60 miles on my car and today I took it to the shop to get it checked and they put that beautiful one year inspection sticker on it!!!!

After all that and coming home, I am very tired but I am used to going back to sleep or laying down after my niece goes to school and I need to get out of the habit because starting next week I am in at the cafeteria at 8am.

That is my news for now, not much else is new and I'm doing good. I hope you all have a great night and try deep breathing if you are having a bad day, anxiety or do some cleaning to help with stress.

Having Anxiety Over Something Small

Hello everyone!

My post today is about having anxiety over small things. Now you are probably thinking you know about anxiety and you do. I am having anxiety over something small, a lot of people do and it can be hard to calm down for some. Hope this post can help in some way or make you feel better.

My anxiety was not really bad but my heart rate was up over 100 beats per minute and it's usually 75-82 range of beats per minute. Why I was having the anxiety, I am not sure because there was no need for it in the first place.

The reason for my anxiety was over a schedule. I work in a cafeteria and it's a good job plus I'm on the schools holiday schedule and their breaks too. I like being there and enjoy it.

So I thought at first that I was going to be part time and did tell the team I need minimum full time hours because I have benefits. They did offer 7am to 330pm which would be good but I help my niece in the mornings so it's tough for me to get there.

I did tell them that 8-430pm would work better but I don't know if they will go for that. Hopefully we can come to a compromise and figure it out.

So the reason of this post is why am I having anxiety? I don't know why it bugs me so much and effects me in this way. I did do some deep breathing and it helped a little bit but not much. Yes I try and figure out why or what is causing the anxiety.

Sometimes I can identify the problem and other times I cannot. Today I cannot identify why a schedule change is affecting me. It shouldn't and I just need to learn to budget better too.

Today was laundry day, cleaning and cleaned out the guinea pigs cage too. Now I am still on winter break from my cafeteria job and maybe 5 weeks is too long. I have not really gotten out of the house unless its to go to the bank or store and that is it.

I'm cooped up and need more time outside of the house.  For my next post I think I will work on identifying what gives me anxiety.  I will update in a few days and let you know about my work schedule and how my anxiety is, it sucks that something so small is causing me anxiety when it should not.

If you have any suggestions, please comment.

A Sunday Post

Today I decided that it's ok to post on a Sunday and my family has not all arrived yet which is okay because I can reflect.

It's church day and I am home from church, I won't push any religious beliefs onto anyone who reads my journal. I enjoy going to church and on some Sunday's I go to lunch with some of the ladies, today I came home. Well I went to the food co-op then came home.

The past week has been good even though I have been tired, my niece has been good and she got to go out yesterday which is good for her because she will sty inside if she can. I went out for a drive yesterday up to Wilton and the sun was shining!

It was very cold yesterday and with sun I think it was 25 degrees out, I put gas in my car before leaving and went on an adventure by myself. I did message a friend who never got back to me and yet they say they want to hang out. Yesterday proved that they don't want me around and I will not waste anymore time trying either.

Before you ask, she never responded to my message and she was home all day! She could not be bothered to message me back! Even if you are busy, just write back that you are busy, that is all it takes.

So I went for the drive and it was nice out with the sun and getting out of town for a little bit.

Today is a day to relax, do some laundry and visit with family. Then I have only a few days left to relax and it will be back tot he college job which I am looking forward too.

Alright family is here and I need to go. Have a great Sunday.

Laundry and My Car

Finally the sun is out!!! It has been gloomy lately in town and I think that has affected me in a negative way. Someone did suggest a sun lamp or tanning, I used to go tanning all the time and it's not very healthy plus it creeps me out how the beds are sanitized so maybe a sun lamp is best.

I have laundry going again but it's always a never ending cycle of laundry in the house. I went out to the bank and the grocery store today which felt great to get out but my car was locking the doors and no I didn't hit the lock button on the door or keychain.

My car is a 2004 and does not have the feature most cars have today which is doors automatically locking themselves after 30 seconds of driving. Now it's great the doors locked, it was weird that it happened. Not sure why but I think because it is so cold out today, It's 19 degrees.

Anyways, I am home doing laundry and had a snack. Waiting for the laundry to be done then put another load in to dry and wait for my niece to get home from school. I am tired but need to stay awake since the college job is coming back soon and I will be back to being top for like 16 hours a day.

It can be rough but somehow I do it. Okay, have a great day everyone and thank you for reading about my crazy yet sometimes boring life adventures.

No Kingdom Hearts console

Today I pre-ordered Kingdom Hearts and was hoping to get the limited edition console but it was sold out which I am not surprised and I am bummed.

The game is pre-ordered and hopefully at the end of the month I can get a PS4. I have a good amount aside but bills come first then a PS4. I also can play more games and it will be hooked up to the internet which will be awesome!

So, that is what I did today besides being not he phone with the bank for a bit. I didn't do much else, just brought paperwork in for home healthcare and also went to Panera's to get lunch. So far it has been good today.

I also noticed that I get bad anxiety when I am home up in my room with nothing to do. It's weird and I must be used to working so much that I have not adjusted to being home after my niece goes to school. It's nice but weird and my heart rate goes up, not a lot but it goes up. I need to find something to do after she goes to school.

Other than pre-ordering Kingdom Hearts, talking to the bank and getting lunch, it's time to relax and watch something til my niece gets home from school.

Freezing Rain

Today we are getting freezing rain which will turn into snow and maybe rain again? I a not sure but I know the school system canceled for today and I'm sure the roads are bad. I'm not even planning to go out in this crappy weather.

I did do a little cleaning today! It's not much but it's the small things that can make you feel great.

With the weather being bad today, I may just do laundry and relax with some Hulu. Of course there will be food in between the shows and laundry. I did my vitamin pill and shake today which reminds me, I donated blood yesterday.

Every 4 months I do power red blood donation for the Red Cross and yesterday I went. The guy that set me up said I eat healthy and he could tell looking at my plasma. Power reds is giving red blood cells and separating the plasma from he blood then the plasma goes back in.

When he told me that he could tell I was healthy by looking at the plasma bag, I thought...really? I try to eat healthy but with being on a budget and food being expensive it's hard to healthy. I do try too but I am off from one job so it's not easy because bills come first then everything else.

So, it was interesting to hear that yesterday and I am fairly healthy for the most part. I was happy to donate regardless of the situation and I can't donate again until the end of April.

For today its of course relaxing, eating and laundry plus cleaning and I need to clean off the bed. I was looking for something and put stuff on the bed then found what I was looking for which is good and I know where it is now.

I really need to make a place in my room for things that I need daily, like my vitamin pills and shake so I don't lose them or my thyroid medicine. Yes I have a thyroid problem which is genetics in my family. I sometimes misplace my medicine which is not good and then have to really deep clean to find it.

This is why I need to make a spot in my room for this stuff, this way I can find it and not misplace it. That will be my next project while I am still on vacation. Sounds like a plan to me, now to make a list of goals (small ones) and get those checked off.

Okay, if you are getting bad weather, please drive safe and be careful if you are walking. I'm sure the roads and sidewalks are bad, please be careful. I hope you enjoy today wherever you are and that you get to smile today.

Monday Blues means Laundry Day

Well today is of course Monday, I'm having the Monday Blues.

I think this is because I am still home from the job at the college and it's not helping that I don't get out as often as I would like. Also most people work a job that is Monday-Friday. I am happy that I have a second job so bills can be paid but I'm cooped up and it's not fun.

With Monday Blues, I am doing laundry. The basket was getting very full so I might as well do laundry and put it away. This way I am doing something and staying slightly active. Folded a load, put a load int he dryer and put another load in the washer. Yes there is that much laundry in the house with 3 people.

Maybe I will do dishes after.

I went to the store because we are getting snow tonight and it is supposed to change to a wintery mix tomorrow so might as well get what you need before the snow starts.

I have the house to myself and it's nice and quiet and binge watching shows on Hulu.

Not much has changed since yesterday, just went to the store today for a few things and that's it. I don't have much else to write about. Just trying to be positive and updating this blog.

I hope you have a great Monday, hope you are safe and warm. Stay dry and have fun. Thank you for reading about my awesome life.

It's Sunday

So it's Sunday and normally don't post because I go to church and like to spend time with family. I did go to church and didn't stay long after because my niece was getting into everything so I came home early. I usually go to lunch with some of the ladies from church but skipped today because I have very little money and I am trying to save too.

Also I wanted left over meatloaf from last night, it was very yummy and I had more for dinner too. Today has been relaxing and I have been binge watching Ghost Adventures on Hulu and now I am watching Unknown Expedition.

Made popcorn with my pampered chef popcorn maker, it didn't pop all the kernels but that's ok. There was enough for me and I love this popcorn maker.

Not much is new, a friend says she is going to stream and she has yet to get on. I honestly think her streaming is just taking over her life and when she doesn't stream its the only thing she talks about.

I don't get it and I won't try to understand it either. People need to get out more and stay off computers and I need to do the same too. Anyways, going to watch Hulu shows for now then bed and hope the wind dies down tonight, it sounds awful.

Today is Different

Not sure how to put into words about stuff I'm feeling and trying to cope with. Part of me wants to spill everything but I know people will get upset over its what do I do?

I guess I will write about the weather for now.We got freezing rain this morning but it changed over to rain which isn't a bad thing. I know we have an upcoming storm that is supposedly going to Brin 3-5 inches of snow on Tuesday I think.

I have been cooped up and it sucks and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I have no life either and honestly it's like people don't want me around. Why do I keep trying?

I did make a run to Walmart for a few things and it was nice to get out for like 20 minutes. it's not much but it helps.

So for now I am going to find something to watch, maybe knit little bit and who knows what else I will do. My grandfather is making meatloaf tonight which I am looking forward too.

First Snow of 2019

This morning I woke up to an inch of snow outside. I didn't know we were getting snow overnight and last time I checked the weather app, it said nothing about snow. It's ok, the snow was light and not heavy so it was easy to shovel and clean off the vehicles.

Today has been good so far, registered my car and paid my phone bill. Wifi is all paid for this month and hopefully I can get ahead for next month too.

I have been knitting and found a new streamer to watch on twitch and she has been knitting longer than I have and hope to learn from her.

Not sure if this was in yesterday's post or not but I subscribed to Darn Good Yarn! It is $10 a month and they send you yarn, patterns and needles. I like it so far and the patterns are hard for me because I'm not intermediate or experienced and really just a very very beginner level knitter.

So the yarn I got is rainbow colored and I have been knitting 3 rows then purl 3 rows and I think it looks great! The yarn is beautiful too and may buy a few more yarns from the site.

I have a lot of free time since the college has not gone back yet and my niece is in school. Also went for a walk yesterday and it was cold, hoping tomorrow will be good weather for another walk and some knitting too. Will see how the rainbow yarn does plus I need to go to the craft store.

Maybe Jen will go with me? Not sure if she is back to work because she got back Sunday from Europe so will ask anyways and if she says no it's ok and I will go by myself.

Alright, I am going to end there and figure out what to do until my niece gets home.

Have a great day everyone, stay safe and enjoy the day.

I'm Back!

Okay, I a m back from the holiday. I didn't ring in the new year how I wanted too but I don't want to talk about it.

I did stay up til after midnight which does not happen very often and I am usually in bed by 11pm. So had music playing and was in a crappy mood. Fell asleep after til about 830am the next day and still tired.

Christmas and New Year's Eve was stressful for me and it lingered, however I did get out for a walk today after my niece went to school. Walked 1.62 miles in 32 minutes in 21 degree weather, yes it was cold but it's great for mental health to get out and walk.

I do feel better but still tired, starting training for 5k races and the first one is next month.

So for now things are good, going to register my car tomorrow and pay the phone bill. Not much is new, still working but not as much which is nice and weird at the same time. It still takes time to adjust but by the time that happens I will be back at my other job.

For now, I am relaxing and going to find something to watch and wait for my niece to get home.